Let It Suck, Let It Suck, Let It Suck (A Very Special Holiday Carol About Dealing With Your Feelings)

This morning, while I was in the shower (do the best insights come to you there, too?) I was thinking about how many women entrepreneurs I talk with every day who are ‘battling the blues’ about their business.

You know… that feeling that things aren’t moving fast enough, you’re not having the impact you want to have yet, you’re not making enough money yet.

That you’ll never get where [insert accomplished entrepreneur you’ve just compared yourself to] is, not in a million years.

That you didn’t get enough done last week, and you haven’t done enough today, and you probably won’t get enough done tomorrow, either.

And I thought about how many times I myself feel like I’m running up against that You suck, everybody hates you, and you should go eat worms voice.

And then, I thought about a li’l magic trick that helps me go from wallowing in that ‘I suck’ feeling to unsucking myself super duper quickly.

It’s a lot different than the way I used to do it.

Here, a demonstration.


Old Way

Come on Helen, you know you are great. You’re great-you’re great-you’re GREAT! Let’s do some affirmations.

I’m good enough, and I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me! Wheee!


I’m not really sure this affirmation thing is for me. Doesn’t seem to be working.

Oh, now, you see? I really DO suck. I can’t even do affirmations right! I wonder if there’s any ice cream left in the freezer…

New Way

You know what, Helen, no matter how much you try to pump yourself up, the plain and simple fact is that you feel like shit right now.

Let’s look at that. What does it feel like? Let’s go deeper into the feeling and see where it takes us.

In fact, let’s talk to our Suck Factor and see where she’s coming from.

Oh, Suuuck Faaactooor, come out, come out wherever you are. I ain’t afraid o’ you.

*tries very hard to imagine Suck Factor coming out so I can take a look at it*

Hmmm… Suck Factor, you appear to be nonexistent. I mean, I can’t see you. I can’t hold you in my hands. You don’t have a face, or a voice, or a personality.

Why exactly have I been wasting my time listening to a phantom?

Aaaand, we’re back in business, folks.


I admit that may be a tad oversimplified.

Although yes, I really do have these kinds of conversations in my head (par-TAY in the grey matter, peeps!).

Here’s the gist, though.

Before, I was trying to force myself out of the blues. Resisting like hell. Saying, I shouldn’t be feeling this, dammit. I need to stop, immediately.

And the more I did that, the worse I felt.

Now, when Sucktacular Susie comes along, I welcome her with open arms.

Oh, there you are Susie! I’ve missed you so. Let’s have tea.

Susie? Susie? *scratching head*

Now where could she have gone?

Thing is, resisting any emotion only makes it hang out longer. Pretending something doesn’t exist just makes it seem more alive.

But, through some fairy-magic-of-the-universe loophole, acknowledging what’s showing up for us- and yes, even opening our arms wide to it- makes it vaporize like the shadowy sham it actually is (or… um, isn’t).

So the next time you feel the ol’ Suck Factor hanging out in your headspace, just let it suck.

Let it suck so hard that it has no choice but to stop sucking.

(That sounded a li’l bit naughty, hee hee…)

But seriously, it works. For realz.

In honor of the holidays, I even wrote a little carol to help you remember this the next time you feel like doggy doo.

It’s hip, it’s edgy, you heard it here first. (wink)


*cue tune of Let It Snow*

Oh my thoughts around this are frightful
But I’d rather feel delightful
And since I’m tired of being stuck
Let it suck, let it suck, let it suck!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping
And my friends are done pep-talking
So how can I get unstuck?
Let it suck, let it suck, let it suck!

When I finally let it in
How the suck disappears in the wind
And if I try to hold it tight
That old Suck Factor books the first flight!

The blues are quickly dying
And my dear, I’m back to flying
‘Cause now that my ‘suck’ has walked

Let it rock, let it rock, let it rock!

You're welcome. :)